If YOUR SPOUSE has the chronic illness:
1. Buy her food that she can eat without guilt--even if you have to hunt it down. Did you know chocolate contains phenylethylamine, a chemical that produces the feeling of "being in love"? Look at your pharmacy for Russell Stover’s sugar free chocolate. Starbuck’s just introduced a heavenly new drink, a sugar-free Cinnamon Dolce’. Now that’s romantic!
2. Hold her hand, rub her back, call her a pet name you haven’t used in five years, don’t pressure her for more. Cuddle, snuggle, and cuddle some more like you will never let her go.
3. Tell her all the things you love about her: how strong she is, how much you admire her strength in coping with illness, how you’re sticking around no matter what. Who needs romantic poetry? Speak from the heart!
4. Buy her something she wouldn’t buy herself like a $20 bottle of lotion, a CD she’s mentioned or a rocking chair for the patio. What is something that she could enjoy when she isn’t feeling well? Pamper her.
5. Give her a romantic getaway. In short, take the kids out of the house an entire day and don’t say anything when you come home at 4 p.m. and she’s still in her pajamas.
6. Write her little love notes and hide them around the house. Or give her a romantic card (just because like 3 days before Valentine’s Day) and write in it, cover one whole panel with your own words.
7. Looking for a romantic dinner idea for staying home? Buy an electric fondue pot and pledge to dip something in candlelight one evening a week and just talk.
8. Need conversation starters? Buy a game such as "To Know You ... Better" or buy a book. Just do a search on "book of questions" for dozens of options. There are still a million things you don’t know about each other, and yes, talking does create intimacy.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But a marriage where both people are involved in keeping it alive, despite the existence of a chronic illness, can be one of the most rewarding joys in your life. Romance comes in many forms. I loved my husband more than ever before the night I literally couldn’t move because of a rheumatoid arthritis flare. I "slept" sitting on the couch and he slept on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I moved and screamed from the pain.
Love comes in many forms. One of the books I’ve bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. Men want to feel respected, women want to feel loved. Usually we are offering our spouse what we wantnot what they need. Being aware of all of the little things we do each day that give one another love and respect, add up to romance when you least expect it.
https://www.babbittalloy.com/product/babbitt-bearing/
1. Buy her food that she can eat without guilt--even if you have to hunt it down. Did you know chocolate contains phenylethylamine, a chemical that produces the feeling of "being in love"? Look at your pharmacy for Russell Stover’s sugar free chocolate. Starbuck’s just introduced a heavenly new drink, a sugar-free Cinnamon Dolce’. Now that’s romantic!
2. Hold her hand, rub her back, call her a pet name you haven’t used in five years, don’t pressure her for more. Cuddle, snuggle, and cuddle some more like you will never let her go.
3. Tell her all the things you love about her: how strong she is, how much you admire her strength in coping with illness, how you’re sticking around no matter what. Who needs romantic poetry? Speak from the heart!
4. Buy her something she wouldn’t buy herself like a $20 bottle of lotion, a CD she’s mentioned or a rocking chair for the patio. What is something that she could enjoy when she isn’t feeling well? Pamper her.
5. Give her a romantic getaway. In short, take the kids out of the house an entire day and don’t say anything when you come home at 4 p.m. and she’s still in her pajamas.
6. Write her little love notes and hide them around the house. Or give her a romantic card (just because like 3 days before Valentine’s Day) and write in it, cover one whole panel with your own words.
7. Looking for a romantic dinner idea for staying home? Buy an electric fondue pot and pledge to dip something in candlelight one evening a week and just talk.
8. Need conversation starters? Buy a game such as "To Know You ... Better" or buy a book. Just do a search on "book of questions" for dozens of options. There are still a million things you don’t know about each other, and yes, talking does create intimacy.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. But a marriage where both people are involved in keeping it alive, despite the existence of a chronic illness, can be one of the most rewarding joys in your life. Romance comes in many forms. I loved my husband more than ever before the night I literally couldn’t move because of a rheumatoid arthritis flare. I "slept" sitting on the couch and he slept on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I moved and screamed from the pain.
Love comes in many forms. One of the books I’ve bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. Men want to feel respected, women want to feel loved. Usually we are offering our spouse what we wantnot what they need. Being aware of all of the little things we do each day that give one another love and respect, add up to romance when you least expect it.
https://www.babbittalloy.com/product/babbitt-bearing/
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